Feels broken but it’s just doing it’s thing

This January has been quieter than usual - not because nothing’s happening, but because a different kind of work is going on and honestly, I'm not used to it! I nearly talked myself out of sharing this, but here it is, in case it lands for you too.

I keep beating myself up about not having a routine. That my days are a bit vague, a bit slow, a bit 'what the fuck did I do today?' I guess because I’m not rushing, launching, selling, shouting about my work enough or waving shiny new things at the internet, it can feel like I’m falling behind.

But that’s not actually true.

What I’m in right now isn’t chaos - it’s a quiet season. Low-output, high-processing. It might not photograph well, but it has rhythm.

Most mornings start inward: tea, journalling, walking, thinking. Gently sorting my nervous system instead of bulldozing through it. I don't think I've ever named that before but it's more valuable than I ever give space to.

And it counts as work - even if it doesn’t make money or earn a gold star.

By late morning, I shift into gentle doing: a gym class, admin, emails, orders, creative noodling. Movement is my non-negotiable - whether it be a long walk, pilates, strength, yoga, a jog - not to punish my body, just to stay connected and remind myself what I enjoy.

Capable energy, not feral productivity.

Evenings soften things: food, rest, connection. Sometimes a glass of wine - I've realised my body likes a clear signal that the day is done and while alcohol does a great job, I'm still working on swapping this out for something that serves me better.

Does my day make sense when I look at it all with compassion instead of judgement?

Yep. And I am allowed to accept that.

Comparison messes with my head. Social media is loud: everyone’s pushing sales, trade shows, BUY THIS, STOCK ME, LOOK HOW READY I AM. (And I’m just over here giving away free sh!t instead 😅) Even if the economy is slower, the energy is still push push push.

I’m not there yet - and I need to remember - that doesn’t mean I’m failing.

I’m laying foundations, updating my website, making sure that when I am ready ask people to stock my work, there’s somewhere solid (and very me) to land. It's fucking boring work but necessary and long overdue.

Here’s the thing I keep forgetting: I don’t lack structure. I lack visible proof.

My routine isn’t built around alarms. It’s built around anchors:

Morning reflection
One body-based thing
One business touchpoint
An evening wind-down

That’s enough for now.

January doesn’t need to be productive. It needs to be honest. And honesty right now looks like slowing down, rebuilding trust with my body, letting things be a bit boring, and trusting that the quiet work counts. Because it really fucking does!

I’m not stuck. I’m not broken. I’m becoming steadier - even if it doesn’t look sexy yet.

And honestly? That might be exactly what this season is for.